...so I got a summer job in Paris. I'll be teaching Fashion & Design to exchange students and the twins will come over there with me for 6 weeks or so.
Cancer is a funny beast. I have known it intimately. And for those who know me well, they are accustomed to my flights of folly. I have, since I was a teenager, or my parents could probably argue earlier than that, have figured out something I've wanted and gone about getting it. There was drawing a picture and getting it published on the cover of a book for the United Nations when I was 12, going to France for the first time when I was 15, spending every summer of my life in the mountains in a canoe, on a trail or hanging off cliffs until I was 24, deciding to become a teacher, going to grad school on a full scholarship, selling everything to move back to Paris for design school, making TV shows & movies, writing, public speaking, riding motorcycles, getting married to a not so good "was-bund" and marrying a much better one, having twins at 47, raising little kids in my 50's (one who is blind), returning to full-time designing...the list goes on and there are oh, so many things I CAN'T or won't mention (for now)...
But it's that doggone cancer that pricks you like a pin and says "Wake the fuck up and do more!" "What haven't you done in your life that you've wanted to do?" I have heard people say that they wake up after fighting cancer - they smell the flowers, they love harder, they acknowledge life and are more patient with others. I have even heard people thank cancer for opening their eyes and giving them a new lease on life. One woman once said something like she wished everyone she knew could have the mental and emotional effect of having cancer to experience how it changes you. Personally, I think that's a crock of shit and wouldn't wish cancer - even for its life-changing values - on anyone!
But I must admit, cancer - even in the tiniest ways - makes me do some things differently. Ever since I lived for all of those years in France, I've always said I would like to go back and spend a month there every year - especially now that Creed & Zelda are around. But, did I ever attempt a plan? Look into it? Do any research? Well, no - I would visit, attend shows, visit museums, have parties and delight in old friends... And then the other day I saw the post and with my "life's too short, eat dessert first attitude", I applied for the job: each day imagining a summer where I could teach what I love and spend time with my dear friends, introducing my kids to the city that is such a part of me, soaking up "ma dose" of inspiration, work on my book (oh! you didn't know that I was writing one?), and make new connections for my one-of-a-kind slow fashion movement.
So, here we go...do I have the money for the plane tickets yet? Well, no. Have I secured us an apartment yet? Well, no. What will happen at my shop while we're there? Haven't decided yet. And there's Evan...my husband: watching, wondering, silently shaking his head, waiting for the plan to unfold...and it will.
Less then 90 days and counting...on arrive!
Showing posts with label twins. Show all posts
Showing posts with label twins. Show all posts
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Thursday, January 7, 2010
2010 workin' on a dream...
Trying to break into the New Year while still reflecting on the Old. It's hard to sum up 2009 with good memories so I've decided to do a + and - look back...
Although I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2008 and had my first surgery before Christmas, 2009 still feels like the year of Cancer, so here we go:
- Had my port-a-cath put in by Dr Ames Smith, BUT +, it was a flawless surgery and easy to recover from.
- Creed hit his chin at Ecole and had his first experience with stitches, BUT +, he was a happy, cheerful, trooper.
- started my first chemo on January 20th, BUT +, Obama was inagurated.
- Had all of my hair cut off and my head shaved, BUT +, shared it with beautiful friends and have amazing photos, thanks to Todd.
- Mom was diagnosed with Stage 2 breast cancer, BUT +, she didn't have to suffer through chemo...
- Lori was diagnosed with Stage 2 breast cancer, BUT +, they were able to shrink the tumor before her surgery.
- 2 months of chemo was hideous, BUT, +, we took the twins to a wonderful outdoor Alejandro Escovedo concert during SXSW.
- Month 3 of chemo was awful, BUT, +, Jerry and Mary visited from NY and we went to see Bruce in concert. Also, modeled in Graphic - the BCRC Art Bra fashion show.
- Final month of chemo was debilitating, BUT +, Manu came from Paris for 3 weeks and I auditioned for a Nike commercial. Also, was contacted by People magazine to do an article about our family's fight with cancer.
- Started Radiation in June, BUT +, got the role in "Driven" - the Nike commercial! Also, took a family trip to the beach and Zelda & Creed LOVED it!! And the People magazine photographer came to shoot us on Father's Day weekend.
- finished 7 weeks of radiation in July, BUT +, headed to Sturgeon Bay, WI to stay with Bill & Kathryn, and then into Chicago to see Margo & Luke and their girls and Gemma, Rowley and Fin and of course, Dr McLeod and the toxoplasmosis research group.
- I was still bald and exhausted, BUT +, Craig and Seth came down to help me take the twins back to the beach.
- Was asked to participate in a Myriad study for genetic predisposition to breast cancer, BUT +, the twins went back to Ecole and and Zelda started her PPCD program.
- Hair was still only under 2 inches long and hated it, BUT +, Zelda and I flew to Pasadena, CA to see Dr Tawansy. Her retinas have remained attached! Creed and Evan took a road trip to El Paso.
- Dad was sick and in and out of the hospital, BUT +, he made it to the twins' 4th birthday party and I was named Honorary Chair of the Breast Cancer Resource Center's Annual Luncheon. I gave the keynote speech.
- Dad was still sick, BUT +, I flew to New Jersey to attend the Camp Beisler reunion and had a wonderful time reconnecting with old friends.
- Lori and tested positive for the BRAT genetic coding and now we have new things to consider in our treatment - which we thought was over, BUT +, I am flown to Beaumount, TX with my friend Deborah to give my speech "Cancer tries on my shoes.." before 1500 people.
- New options for treatment are not good news, BUT +, I am asked to present at Pecha Kucha night with 9 other Austin creatives.
- Dad died...
- Zelda had her 3rd seizure of the year...
- I had my ovaries removed to cut the risk of developing ovarian cancer from 45% down to 4%...there were no cancerous cells in my ovaries.
- Alton visited and Seth and Craig came back for Christmas and New Year's. The kids had a blast. They are happy. healthy and cheerful. We have 3 floors on our house that is under construction. Evan is busy, busy, busy and this year....I will have my breasts cut off.
Happy New Year...
Although I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2008 and had my first surgery before Christmas, 2009 still feels like the year of Cancer, so here we go:
- Had my port-a-cath put in by Dr Ames Smith, BUT +, it was a flawless surgery and easy to recover from.
- Creed hit his chin at Ecole and had his first experience with stitches, BUT +, he was a happy, cheerful, trooper.
- started my first chemo on January 20th, BUT +, Obama was inagurated.
- Had all of my hair cut off and my head shaved, BUT +, shared it with beautiful friends and have amazing photos, thanks to Todd.
- Mom was diagnosed with Stage 2 breast cancer, BUT +, she didn't have to suffer through chemo...
- Lori was diagnosed with Stage 2 breast cancer, BUT +, they were able to shrink the tumor before her surgery.
- 2 months of chemo was hideous, BUT, +, we took the twins to a wonderful outdoor Alejandro Escovedo concert during SXSW.
- Month 3 of chemo was awful, BUT, +, Jerry and Mary visited from NY and we went to see Bruce in concert. Also, modeled in Graphic - the BCRC Art Bra fashion show.
- Final month of chemo was debilitating, BUT +, Manu came from Paris for 3 weeks and I auditioned for a Nike commercial. Also, was contacted by People magazine to do an article about our family's fight with cancer.
- Started Radiation in June, BUT +, got the role in "Driven" - the Nike commercial! Also, took a family trip to the beach and Zelda & Creed LOVED it!! And the People magazine photographer came to shoot us on Father's Day weekend.
- finished 7 weeks of radiation in July, BUT +, headed to Sturgeon Bay, WI to stay with Bill & Kathryn, and then into Chicago to see Margo & Luke and their girls and Gemma, Rowley and Fin and of course, Dr McLeod and the toxoplasmosis research group.
- I was still bald and exhausted, BUT +, Craig and Seth came down to help me take the twins back to the beach.
- Was asked to participate in a Myriad study for genetic predisposition to breast cancer, BUT +, the twins went back to Ecole and and Zelda started her PPCD program.
- Hair was still only under 2 inches long and hated it, BUT +, Zelda and I flew to Pasadena, CA to see Dr Tawansy. Her retinas have remained attached! Creed and Evan took a road trip to El Paso.
- Dad was sick and in and out of the hospital, BUT +, he made it to the twins' 4th birthday party and I was named Honorary Chair of the Breast Cancer Resource Center's Annual Luncheon. I gave the keynote speech.
- Dad was still sick, BUT +, I flew to New Jersey to attend the Camp Beisler reunion and had a wonderful time reconnecting with old friends.
- Lori and tested positive for the BRAT genetic coding and now we have new things to consider in our treatment - which we thought was over, BUT +, I am flown to Beaumount, TX with my friend Deborah to give my speech "Cancer tries on my shoes.." before 1500 people.
- New options for treatment are not good news, BUT +, I am asked to present at Pecha Kucha night with 9 other Austin creatives.
- Dad died...
- Zelda had her 3rd seizure of the year...
- I had my ovaries removed to cut the risk of developing ovarian cancer from 45% down to 4%...there were no cancerous cells in my ovaries.
- Alton visited and Seth and Craig came back for Christmas and New Year's. The kids had a blast. They are happy. healthy and cheerful. We have 3 floors on our house that is under construction. Evan is busy, busy, busy and this year....I will have my breasts cut off.
Happy New Year...
Saturday, June 7, 2008
RIP's and Bienvenues...
- RIP YSL: Yves Saint Laurent, the great French couturier, prodigy of Dior, and avid supporter of women wearing pants, died at the age of 71 in Paris. Each time I wear a man's tuxedo to a formal event, I think of him.
- RIP Allie: beloved dog of our friend Jason. She was a dear, gentle dog who would visit and let the kids roll all over her. Creed named his stuffed puppy "Owie" after her.
- BIENVENUE to the newest set of preemie twins: Emmanuelle & Max, born to friends Merritt & Pierre on the west coast. Can't wait to meet Manu & Max...They'll join other sets of twos in our world: Isabel & Michael, Jack & Alma, Jack & Ellie, Harriet & Maxine, Caitie & Georgia...we'll all have to have a party
And speaking of parties, tonight is our "50/50" party: A century of style. Evan and I have now both turned 50 in the past 2 months. And I'll tell you all now, it only gets better...
- RIP Allie: beloved dog of our friend Jason. She was a dear, gentle dog who would visit and let the kids roll all over her. Creed named his stuffed puppy "Owie" after her.
- BIENVENUE to the newest set of preemie twins: Emmanuelle & Max, born to friends Merritt & Pierre on the west coast. Can't wait to meet Manu & Max...They'll join other sets of twos in our world: Isabel & Michael, Jack & Alma, Jack & Ellie, Harriet & Maxine, Caitie & Georgia...we'll all have to have a party
And speaking of parties, tonight is our "50/50" party: A century of style. Evan and I have now both turned 50 in the past 2 months. And I'll tell you all now, it only gets better...
Wednesday, April 4, 2007
Julia Roberts is in town...
She's making a film out in Bastrop.
Do I have anything in common with her? Well yes, we both have twins
Do I envy her? Well sure, I'd like to have her money.
Am I filled with the middle-american desire to be Julia? Well no, I like being me.
BUT, the other day I saw her photo in a rag-mag that was thrown in the trash by our nanny - it was the back of her head and peering over her shoulder was her adorable wide-eyed daughter Hazel. It struck a chord. My daughter is a twin and she is absolutely adorable. But she is not wide-eyed. Actually more often than not, Zelda has her head down and her eyes almost closed. They are like slits. She has micro-opthalmia. Her right eye is smaller than her left. Interestingly enough, most doctors have said that her right eye is her "good" eye - the one with hope. At this point who knows...I operate under the premise that I'll know if/what she can see when she can tell us.
Besides being premature and born with congential toxoplasmosis, Zelda was born with dysplastic and detached retinas. Was it a result of ROP due to her prematurity? Was it a result of the toxo? No one can tell us. All I know is that one day in the NICU, the haneous eye doctor from hell said "your daughter's eyes still look hazy" "we can't see in and therefore she can't see out" "oh, and by the way, your daughter is blind and she'll never be able to see." WHAT???
He was so hideously cavalier about the whole thing, I just wanted to scream. And later I did. I screamed, I cried, I even prayed...well, sort of.
We had so many questions. Why hadn't they seen this sooner? Why was the doctor such an arrogant ass? Could she have surgery? Would she ever be able to see? Can one take lessons on how to tell a parent that their baby is blind? Can we enroll AA (arrogant ass) doctor in the class?
We immediately phoned the Oracle - our guide through the world of toxoplasmosis - Dr Rima McLeod at the University of Chicago. More on her later. She recommended that we contact Dr Khaled Tawansy, a pediatric eye surgeon in California. The wheels were set in motion and thanks to the amazingly dedicated neonatologist Dr Peter Haney at Texas Children's Hospital, a transport jet was arranged to take Zelda and Evan to Pasadena, CA. They spent a month out there at Huntington Memorial Hospital and Zelda underwent various procedures and surgeries to remove her lenses (lensectomy) and the clear the vitreous (vitrectomy) in her little eyes. We later returned last summer and both she and Creed had another procedure to keep their eyes healthy. We will return again in the upcoming months to see Dr Tawansy for yet more work and consultation on the state of Zelda's eyes.
So back to Julia...I look at the photo of the movie star and her wide-eyed twin and I want my little girl to have her eyes wide-open and seeing. Sometimes it makes me sad but most of the time I am in awe - not only of feisty, resilient Zelda who walks forward without fear but also of her brother, the smiley, silly Creed. They are toddlers, completely different individuals learning to go through life in their own way. Who says that one "view" or lack of is better than the other?
Creed is starting to jump and run, Zelda is too.
They are just doing it differently.
Do I have anything in common with her? Well yes, we both have twins
Do I envy her? Well sure, I'd like to have her money.
Am I filled with the middle-american desire to be Julia? Well no, I like being me.
BUT, the other day I saw her photo in a rag-mag that was thrown in the trash by our nanny - it was the back of her head and peering over her shoulder was her adorable wide-eyed daughter Hazel. It struck a chord. My daughter is a twin and she is absolutely adorable. But she is not wide-eyed. Actually more often than not, Zelda has her head down and her eyes almost closed. They are like slits. She has micro-opthalmia. Her right eye is smaller than her left. Interestingly enough, most doctors have said that her right eye is her "good" eye - the one with hope. At this point who knows...I operate under the premise that I'll know if/what she can see when she can tell us.
Besides being premature and born with congential toxoplasmosis, Zelda was born with dysplastic and detached retinas. Was it a result of ROP due to her prematurity? Was it a result of the toxo? No one can tell us. All I know is that one day in the NICU, the haneous eye doctor from hell said "your daughter's eyes still look hazy" "we can't see in and therefore she can't see out" "oh, and by the way, your daughter is blind and she'll never be able to see." WHAT???
He was so hideously cavalier about the whole thing, I just wanted to scream. And later I did. I screamed, I cried, I even prayed...well, sort of.
We had so many questions. Why hadn't they seen this sooner? Why was the doctor such an arrogant ass? Could she have surgery? Would she ever be able to see? Can one take lessons on how to tell a parent that their baby is blind? Can we enroll AA (arrogant ass) doctor in the class?
We immediately phoned the Oracle - our guide through the world of toxoplasmosis - Dr Rima McLeod at the University of Chicago. More on her later. She recommended that we contact Dr Khaled Tawansy, a pediatric eye surgeon in California. The wheels were set in motion and thanks to the amazingly dedicated neonatologist Dr Peter Haney at Texas Children's Hospital, a transport jet was arranged to take Zelda and Evan to Pasadena, CA. They spent a month out there at Huntington Memorial Hospital and Zelda underwent various procedures and surgeries to remove her lenses (lensectomy) and the clear the vitreous (vitrectomy) in her little eyes. We later returned last summer and both she and Creed had another procedure to keep their eyes healthy. We will return again in the upcoming months to see Dr Tawansy for yet more work and consultation on the state of Zelda's eyes.
So back to Julia...I look at the photo of the movie star and her wide-eyed twin and I want my little girl to have her eyes wide-open and seeing. Sometimes it makes me sad but most of the time I am in awe - not only of feisty, resilient Zelda who walks forward without fear but also of her brother, the smiley, silly Creed. They are toddlers, completely different individuals learning to go through life in their own way. Who says that one "view" or lack of is better than the other?
Creed is starting to jump and run, Zelda is too.
They are just doing it differently.
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