Monday, August 17, 2009

Summer Schedule...

The twins return to "Ecole" a week from today...and all I can say is: "Betty Draper, I am not." I don't know if you watch Mad Men but Evan and I have become recently addicted. Taking place in the early '60's, when life was stylized, sex roles were well-defined yet daring, and suburbia was thriving. The Draper family is one to be avoided - at least in replication. Betty, the mom, a former model and stay-at-home wife, is a tangled conundrum of emotions. Anyway, I won't get lost in that now...it's best saved for a later look.

The summer seemed to start with the end of my treatment. Up until then, the twins had been in Ecole/Summer Camp. About a week after radiation ended, we hopped a plane for Chicago. I will add that Creed & Zelda have flown many times and this one was better than ever. Creed was chatty and engrossed with any movement and mechanical curiosity. Zelda, fiercely dedicated to her new iPod, could actually tell me when the plane was going up, coming down and turning, through sheer feeling.

We headed directly up to Sturgeon Bay, Wisconsin and thanks to Bill and Kathryn - Evan's friends from college - we had a picture perfect visit at their lake house. They are the best hosts, the boat rides were glorious, the hikes were cool and the meals were relaxing. Almost felt like a vacation, despite the fact that we were all constantly chasing the almost 4 yr olds.
After basking in the cool temperatures (n.b. Austin is on Day 55 or 58 or more of 100+ degrees), we headed down into Chicago to spend some more time with Bill & Kathryn at their home. Days were spent at the Botanical Gardens, Creed & Evan played - or more likely observed - golf with Bill & his son, had a little beach time and took a day trip into almost Iowa to look at an old movie theatre that needs Evan's restoration expertise.
to be continued...

Sunday, August 9, 2009

The "New" Normal...

I haven't written in a while. I finished all of my treatments for breast cancer exactly one month ago today. 3 surgeries, four months of dose dense chemotherapy and 7 1/2 weeks of daily radiation. I have been pricked, poked, fed multitudes of pills, had poison shot through my body and wreak havoc on my system, been fried daily by laser radiation through layers of skin until it hurt and peeled...oh, there's too much more to even mention. But I am here and supposedly cancer free. Hmmm...do I believe it? I guess so.

The morning of my last radiation treatment and I got into the car with Evan to drop the twins first at Ecole, and I started weeping. I cried and couldn't stop. I had no words. I cried through the treatment and cried when Dr Dzuik gave my my "award": a plaque that reads "Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway." - John Wayne. He died of cancer.

So, the "new" normal is here. People ask how I am doing. I feel fine, although I tend to push myself too much and I exhaust easily. They say my hair regrowth looks great and that the short hair is flattering, I say: only if it's one's own choice. So, I go forward, move on - most days without worry, without fear. But sometimes, it's there...