2010 workin' on a dream...

Trying to break into the New Year while still reflecting on the Old. It's hard to sum up 2009 with good memories so I've decided to do a + and - look back...

Although I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2008 and had my first surgery before Christmas, 2009 still feels like the year of Cancer, so here we go:

- Had my port-a-cath put in by Dr Ames Smith, BUT +, it was a flawless surgery and easy to recover from.

- Creed hit his chin at Ecole and had his first experience with stitches, BUT +, he was a happy, cheerful, trooper.

- started my first chemo on January 20th, BUT +, Obama was inagurated.

- Had all of my hair cut off and my head shaved, BUT +, shared it with beautiful friends and have amazing photos, thanks to Todd.

- Mom was diagnosed with Stage 2 breast cancer, BUT +, she didn't have to suffer through chemo...

- Lori was diagnosed with Stage 2 breast cancer, BUT +, they were able to shrink the tumor before her surgery.

- 2 months of chemo was hideous, BUT, +, we took the twins to a wonderful outdoor Alejandro Escovedo concert during SXSW.

- Month 3 of chemo was awful, BUT, +, Jerry and Mary visited from NY and we went to see Bruce in concert. Also, modeled in Graphic - the BCRC Art Bra fashion show.

- Final month of chemo was debilitating, BUT +, Manu came from Paris for 3 weeks and I auditioned for a Nike commercial. Also, was contacted by People magazine to do an article about our family's fight with cancer.

- Started Radiation in June, BUT +, got the role in "Driven" - the Nike commercial! Also, took a family trip to the beach and Zelda & Creed LOVED it!! And the People magazine photographer came to shoot us on Father's Day weekend.

- finished 7 weeks of radiation in July, BUT +, headed to Sturgeon Bay, WI to stay with Bill & Kathryn, and then into Chicago to see Margo & Luke and their girls and Gemma, Rowley and Fin and of course, Dr McLeod and the toxoplasmosis research group.

- I was still bald and exhausted, BUT +, Craig and Seth came down to help me take the twins back to the beach.

- Was asked to participate in a Myriad study for genetic predisposition to breast cancer, BUT +, the twins went back to Ecole and and Zelda started her PPCD program.

- Hair was still only under 2 inches long and hated it, BUT +, Zelda and I flew to Pasadena, CA to see Dr Tawansy. Her retinas have remained attached! Creed and Evan took a road trip to El Paso.

- Dad was sick and in and out of the hospital, BUT +, he made it to the twins' 4th birthday party and I was named Honorary Chair of the Breast Cancer Resource Center's Annual Luncheon. I gave the keynote speech.

- Dad was still sick, BUT +, I flew to New Jersey to attend the Camp Beisler reunion and had a wonderful time reconnecting with old friends.

- Lori and tested positive for the BRAT genetic coding and now we have new things to consider in our treatment - which we thought was over, BUT +, I am flown to Beaumount, TX with my friend Deborah to give my speech "Cancer tries on my shoes.." before 1500 people.

- New options for treatment are not good news, BUT +, I am asked to present at Pecha Kucha night with 9 other Austin creatives.

- Dad died...

- Zelda had her 3rd seizure of the year...

- I had my ovaries removed to cut the risk of developing ovarian cancer from 45% down to 4%...there were no cancerous cells in my ovaries.

- Alton visited and Seth and Craig came back for Christmas and New Year's. The kids had a blast. They are happy. healthy and cheerful. We have 3 floors on our house that is under construction. Evan is busy, busy, busy and this year....I will have my breasts cut off.

Happy New Year...

"Stop Copying Me!!"...

...AKA "You're just jealous of my success!" My older sister, Shakti, had a dear friend, funny friend in the eighties who always used that saying - kind of snarky, kind of silly and we use it to this day. So when the other day, we found out that our youngest sister, Lori, had been diagnosed with breast cancer - yes, it's true - I just had to call her and yell at her. She's just jealous of my success...always wanting to copy me...

So, what do we do now? I was diagnosed in December, Stage I, Triple neg, had a lumpectomy, had my chemo #6 this past Tuesday. 2 more to go, then radiation. Mom, 85, was diagnosed in February, Stage II, ER/PR+, had a lumpectomy, will not do chemo and begins radiation any day now. Lori, 45, got the results of her biopsy as I sat in my chemo chair. She called me crying. The tumor is larger than mine or Mom's. They want to immediately put in a port and start her on chemo first in order to try and shrink it before any surgery. No staging or other pathology results yet. Needless to say, Shakti is freaked out. How did she escape the bullet? Or hasn't she? How does this all happen at once to one family? My genetic testing of the BRACAgene came back negative last month but I guess there are other mutations that need to be examined. Our family is reeling...

Chemo #6 flowed through my veins for 6 hours, then a neulasta shot yesterday. Have done 2 photo shoots for the Art Bra Calendar. More friends, Jerry & Mary, arrive from NY tomorrow for the weekend. Hopefully this round won't hit too hard as we have tickets to see Springsteen...just need an injection of that New Jersey fight back into my veins...

B-R-U-C-E...

so I'm from New Jersey, if you didn't already know that. Before this past week, the last time I saw Bruce Springsteen was about 30 years ago at the Spectrum in Philly. It was the "Darkness on the Edge on Town" tour. The Boss was amazing, jumping and running across the stage, screaming and singing his unforgettable lyrics in his gravely voice...Clarence wore a white suit and Nils Lofgren wasn't even playing with him yet. Hell, he wasn't even married to Patti Scialfa yet and hadn't produced those 3 teenagers. People stood on their seats and he played for hours. I saw him twice that tour. I was in college.

We saw him in Houston on Monday. Again, he was amazing, just more strutting than running. Clarence wore black and has dreads down to his waist now. Patti was at home with the kids. He played for 2 1/2 hours and was joined by our friend Alejandro Escovedo for an encore song. And I swear I have never in my life seen a bigger crowd of 40 yr old + white people in one concert hall.

But there's just something about Bruce that brings tears to your eyes, that makes you feel that it's okay to be an American and that there's still hope for this country. 'Cause whatever you may think of his music, he's the real deal.

And I swear I got his shout out to "the one Jersey girl in the audience" among all of the Texans...I saw him smiling at me. He did, he really did...