Le Vendredi Noir, Santa and Olfactory tins...

Just a few things on my mind:

...so, in the past few years they have been referring to this day - the day after Thanksgiving as Black Friday. Wide Americans in their bad t-shirts camp out in line at the big box stores to storm "La Bastille" and pull everything off the shelves in the guise of buying at discount prices. Now, they're trying to combat this day with a special promotion tomorrow called "Small Business Saturday". What I think is unfair is that today, the unsightly, reckless, unsophisticated battle has claimed the glorious non-color of Black for their moniker and tomorrow we (our small, independently run businesses) are stuck with a generic, unoriginal name...I assume you know how I feel about this. AND, another thing - I had a call from a local TV station the other day to comment on this Saturday's "SBS"..."as a small business owner, will you promoting and participating in this wonderfully local event, by slashing your prices to bring customers into shop at your boutique?" Why? No. I work hard. Every small business owner that I know does, too. We are not about to compete with WalMart's $1.99 specials while we slave over our original products, our merchandising and our beautiful displays - never mind paying our loyal employees more than minimum wage. I hope that my customers will understand that I try to offer them the best product for their money and don't have the 1000% mark-up that would enable me to slash their retail price down to just a few more cents more than what I would be paying a child in a third world country for production. Sigh...

So, No. 2: Creed is so into Santa this year. We have been seeing him everywhere since before Halloween. So, I lied. I have told Creed that we were not able to speak of Santa, look for him and discuss him until after Thanksgiving as it is against the law. Yep, that's right - I am a dictator. However, today the moratorium has been lifted.

and No. 3: Zelda is a cool little girl. One of the many things I love about la petite Z is that we have so far successfully avoided the pink sparkly-dom of little girlhood. No "My little ponies", no t-shirts with princesses on them, no Barbies or any dolls for that matter. However, as she grows older, it gets increasingly more difficult to buy her gifts aside from books and music. I have turned to making them -gifts that is - and this year, I have a super idea for her Christmas gift and I beg the assistance of my dear readers. Here is the idea: each morning I drink my tea from Mariage Freres that comes in a wonderfully smooth and beautiful black tin, I save them or regift them but at this point I have at least fifteen or so, like this...



I want to capture smells, fill each tin with an object either possessing the smell or just the smell itself. On the bottom of the can, I'll label the smell in Braille. We can play the game with her (and Creed as well, for that matter) as she chooses a tin, she'll open it and I'll ask her to identify the smell. After she distinguishes the smell, we can read the word together labeled on the bottom of the can. Not only will she be sharpening her olfactory sense but she'll be practicing her Braille as well. So, I have coffee, leather, roses, glue, tea(!), but I need others...pray tell, dear readers...close your eyes, think of your favorite smells, how they be represented or stored in a can? Send me your ideas...Also, I need a name for this game. So, here goes and merci d'avance...

Overdrive...

...yesterday I was thinking about myself. Depressed, angry and cranky over my upcoming surgery. Tuesday: my bilateral mastectomy...losing my perfect Marie Antoinette "coupe de champagne" breasts. I am 52 and I have never had to wear a bra. When the other girls were sore and developing in middle school, I could run faster than anyone AND without pain. They have served me well. Made me money. Given breast milk to my twins for 13 months. I am angry.

Then, I got a phone call from Zelda's teacher. She had a fever of over 100 degrees. Everything drops. Zelda hasn't had a seizure in 8 months and she is now on 2 different meds that seem to be working. If she gets a fever, a seizure could appear at any moment. I run home, get a syringe of Children's tylenol, a syringe of Kepra, and her Diastat giant rectal injection in case she seizes.

Zelda's teacher, Mrs K, is an absolute wonder. She has already taken Z to the nurse and has her waiting there for me in case she starts to seize. They have no signed permission to give her anything to lower her temperature, so they wait for me. And when I arrive, there she is...my beautiful little girl: smiling and happy albeit a little warm. I give her the meds. She chats on the way to the car and we go home.

Seizure averted.

I am still having my breasts cut off on Tuesday. But my kids are IT. I will fight for them and advocate for their health as long as I am alive...my own shit...not so much...


Zelda, last weekend, at her first "girlfriends birthday party"...

Happy Halloweena...

...that's Zelda's choice for a costume. So, in a matter of a week: black tutu, skull tights, orangey shirt, black bow in her hair. The trick with Zelda is to not make her feel as if she's wearing a costume, i.e. something strange and uncomfortable. Well, it worked. Creed was a dinosaur but backed out on the make-up at the last minute. A good time was had by all - well, except maybe for me as I was sick as a dog in the aftermath of my fashion show.

Zelda AKA Halloweena in her favorite tunnel at Little Stacy Park...


Creed, a very tired Dinosaur...


Creed with his friend, Lucy, at the Halloween party in the park...

The Zelda Chronicles...

...as promised, here's the 5th year Zelda update. As relayed earlier, Creed is exploding on all fronts - and the same goes for his sister. Zelda attends one of the best public elementary schools in town every day from 7h45 - 2pm. Yes, we drop her off in her PPCD classroom (that's Public Preschool for Children with Disabilities) every morning at an extremely un-godly hour. She happily jaunts down the hall with her long white cane as the other kids stare, some dare to say 'hello', and as the parents jump out of her way while apologizing profusely. The beauty of the situation is - that in this overly white, upper middle class environment where all the mothers are perfectly dressed in their exercise attire each morning and the dads wear rumpled khaki suits, Zelda knows no visual stereotypes. Diversity, (or lack of) at this point, may only be absorbed through what she hears. So, I guess her mom and dad need to stop being so judgemental and critical!

Anyway, her PPCD class is one of inclusion and it blends with the Pre-K class each day, therefore preparing her for the foray into public kindergarten next year. Andrea, her TVI, works with her on Braille, reading and writing, three times a week. Lonnie, her O & M, works with her to navigate the halls, the playground and general cane usage two times a week. She sees Miss B once a week with a group for Speech and then once a week privately and her language is improving by leaps and bounds. At 2pm everyday, she rides the bus to join Creed and her longtime friends at Ecole, where she continues to be immersed in French and hangs out in the garden for extended day play.

AND, the biggest milestone is now Zelda is peeing in the potty. Wow, wow, wow! We were trying to remain calm and less impatient but with the help of the PPCD team and her beloved teachers at Ecole, she now is potty trained. Except for the poop factor - that deserves a whole other entry. And, I need to write a book. Yes folks, information on how to potty train a blind, stubborn little girl - not much about it anywhere and believe me, I have searched!

Hmmm...let's see, other big news: Zelda will now play by herself and with others in a bouncy house - you know, those giant inflatable things kids have at their parties. Up until last week, she always whined and often screamed for Evan to go in with her but at a recent Ecole potluck, she climbed in herself, jumped, fell and giggled with the other kids. Whew!

She likes to do laundry and put things in the dishwasher...she is even starting to get dressed on her own which is more than I can say for her twin brother.

And, when asked what she wants to be for Halloween, she declared, "Halloweena!" We're working on that one and hoping that it's her first outward display of her imagination.

She sings and continues to identify music and for her 5th birthday at PPCD (where they request no sweets or food, but an activity), Zelda chose the Rolling Stones and had a dance party to 2 of their songs from "Exile on Main Street".

This week, we attended the walk from the Texas State Capitol to City Hall for National White Cane Day...she was by far the tiniest ( and cutest) kid there! GO ZELDA! And I must admit, it really is hard to remember these kids as babies - they are growing, learning and exploring by leaps and bounds. It just gets better every day...

Creed style...update on the boy...

The twins have turned 5, so it's time to update on their lives, their developmental milestones and of course: their style! Credence Paul is a party boy. He is adorable, sneaky, kind and smarter then we think. I say that because something very interesting happened last month. Friends were in town to visit: my old pal, Seth and his partner, Christopher. We had a wonderfully enlightened time. It just so happened to be at the end of the twins' 3 week vacation between Ecole summer camp and the start of the new school year. In other words: school was out and they were nuts. Creed was taking every opportunity to push all buttons, boundaries and manipulate everyone and everything in his path. So, one afternoon, while Evan, Seth and I went to visit my mom in the hospital - as she had recently broken her hip - Christopher and a friend of his stayed home with the kids. Now, Christopher is very, very wise, observant and has dealt with lots of kids so we were eager to hear what had happened while we were gone as the dynamics with our two kiddos are usually out of the ordinary.
I won't go into great detail but a power struggle ensued between C & C and Creed learned a good lesson as did we. When describing the events, Christopher started with: "First of all, Creed is extremely smart. Really, really smart." That stopped us in our tracks for several reasons. We have dealt with many doctors, educators, and therapists during the short 5 years of their lives and the message has generally been repeatedly: Zelda is so very smart and Creed is so cute and friendly. Wow, what had we been doing? We had let this sink in and begin to cloud our expectations and general view of our childrens' characters. Sure, we knew that both assessments were true - but to have already pigeon-holed them at age 5 in our own minds? It started me looking at Creed in a whole different light. But wait - it's not that I didn't think that Creed was smart, it's just that I had always heard that Zelda was the smart twin. Ackkk!!! I was horrified, embarrassed and felt like someone had just opened a door to my view of my own son. Thank you Christopher!
Anyway, Creed is in his 3rd year at Ecole. The twins' missed the cut-off for Kindergarten as their birthday was the 15th. He is the oldest in the class and it's great to look back on how far he has come. He understands everything in French and at times, even responds in his 2nd language. He loves to help the younger kids. He is still generally sweet and kind, despite turning into a rock-'em, sock-'em kind of boy. He runs, crashes and explodes into everything in his path. His imagination is exploding as well: "Mom, I am going to marry Millie. We need to go to Home Depot and buy paint and wood to build our house in Mexico. Dad, can I borrow some tools?" Or the other night, "Mom, I am so tired...but I still want to go to the Continental Club to hear music."
Creed wants to continue with ice skating lessons and expresses interest in taking ballet. It will be interesting to see how he'll handle contact sports as he becomes more aware of  the shunts in his brain. We have started talking about them and he is aware of the tubes in his head. He is able to talk about his vision and will tell us about his good eye(left) and his bad one (right). He's been potty-trained for 2 years now, pees standing up and never has accidents at night. He prefers to be naked when at home but still likes us to pick out his clothes for school. With that said, it's fun to pull out all of the vintage kids' clothes we have collected over the years - stuff we have been stockpiling - and then put them in when they arrive at the appropriate age.

Creed is getting tall and slim - like his dad. And he looks great in a pair of vintage jeans.

...and Now!

J'ai 5 ans..2 parties down...1 to go!

Z's favorite gift - a jewelry box of buttons and bracelets from Aunt Kia.

Presenting the amazing ToxoTwins...year 5!!

I do this every year...I relive their birth and the beginning of our lives together. My pregnancy was not fun but I ate like a demon, swam everyday and stayed chained to the daybed. Evan didn't want anything to go wrong. Despite various terrifying bouts with cramping and bleeding at weeks 6, 12, 14 and then at 26w5days, the babies were growing, kicking and playing games in my belly. I knew that Baby was a feisty girl and that Baby B, was a sleepy boy. (Not much has changed!)

On September 14th, we had a lovely rendez-vous with Katherine, a wonderful woman, who we signed up to be our post-partum doula. Friends with twins said she was the best and we should sign her on for the overnight shift. So, with a due date of December 17th and Dr Polon's thoughts that I would only make it to 34 weeks, we decided that she would come on in November when the babies would come out early. She would work 5 nights a week - on from 10:30pm - 8am, so we, the over 45 parents, could get some sleep!:)

I swam that afternoon at the lovely pool at the Austin Motel near our little house. At about 6pm that evening, I started bleeding - just a bit, with some slight cramping. My whole pregnancy had had scares like this, so I calmly called the amazing Dr Clive Polon. He responded in his wonderfully lilting South African accent, "Don't worry, sweetie. Keep careful watch and call me if it gets worse." So, I tucked myself into bed, the bleeding slowed down, but the cramping continued. Being a rather slim woman and carrying a bellyful of twins, I had almost constant menstrual cramping throughout the entire pregnancy up until this point. But I was worried and couldn't sleep. I made Evan stay up almost all night with me - quizzing him aloud from that month's Texas Monthly issue on Texas History. We sang, we talked, we called Dr Polon several times.

The next morning, Dr P said to come to his office right away. He took a look (I'll spare you the details) and said, "Sweetie, the babies are fine but something's not right. You're having contractions." My cramps were actually contractions! What did I know, having never been pregnant before!? I was admitted to Saint David's, hooked up to 3 heart monitors, one for each baby and one for me. They gave me a shot of magnesium sulfate to slow down the contractions - assuming they would abate and that I would be able to go home after a day or two - as well as a shot of steroids to assure that the babies' lungs could handle breathing on their own "just in case" they had to come out early. That was at 10am...Evan starting making the calls...Dr Polon checked in .... the nurses were on surveillance...the cramping worsened....at 4pm, the nurse came in and saw me, "I know that look," she said, "You're in labor." She then proceeded to stick her fist into my uterus and I screamed in pain. "What the fuck are you doing?"

Dr Polon came in at 6:30 pm. He calmly told Evan to go home and get everything we needed - a camera, my bed pillow, whatever else, make the calls...the babies were to be taken out. I cried, "They're too small and not ready." I was a mess. He said that they were fine, but they wanted/needed to come out before something started to get worse. They weren't sure what it was...

My sister Shakti, my sister and brother-in-law: Claudia & Lee, friends Laura, Kat & Don, Victor & Laura: our Katrina refugees from New Orleans - they were all there...the C-section room was freezing. The wonderfully amazing epidural raced through my body and they strapped my arms down in crucifixion mode as my body started shaking uncontrollably. The sheet was put up across my chest and Evan stood holding my hand. I talked of Texas History with the anesthesiologist - he said that was a first during any of the deliveries he'd assisted. Dr Polon stood on my left and out came Baby B, my little boy who quickly became Baby A in the delivery order. Then came my sweet little girl, Baby A became Baby B: born second at 10:32pm. I cried to Evan, "Where are they? What do they look like?" He replied, "Long, grey squirrels."

There were 14 people in the delivery room, besides the delivery team, etc., there was an neonatologist for each baby, their assistants and then some...a real party! I remember Dr Polon holding up Zelda before they whisked her away - she lifted her tiny, skinny grey arm and her eyes were open. They had no names yet...

Zelda at 1 month old

Creed at 2 months old

Happy Birthday to my dear Toxotwins!!!