The plot thickens...or I had a Hungarian grandmother...

We called her Nudgemama and she was my Mother's mother. She died when I was 10 or 12and she was close to 90. Her name was Julia and she was a milliner in Debrecen, Hungary before she came to America in the late 1800's to become the bride of a Hungarian widower. She got pregnant 14 times, gave birth 11 times, and had 9 children who lived. My mother, who is now 85, was the youngest. She never learned English and always lived in Carteret, NJ. As a child, I remember going to see her with my Mom...at that point she lived on the second floor of a row house. It was quite dark; she was very old, had a long grey braid down past her knees, she wore heavy black shoes and had lace doilies on her furniture. My uncle Joe, who smoked and drank, lived in the front room. Nudgemama only spoke Hungarian and she could only converse with my Mom or Uncle Joe. The only words we knew how to say to her were "Koszonom, Nudgemama"...thank you, Grandmother. She would serve us 7-Up at her round wooden table or Jello when she had some. Have you ever seen Jim Jarmusch's film "Stranger Than Paradise"? The Hungarian Aunt Lotte always reminded me of Nudgemama.

When Nudgemama died, my Mom always said it was from old age and other ailments. That's why it was shocking to learn the other day at my Mom's oncology appt, that supposedly she had died of breast cancer. For our entire lives, no one has known this. I have 2 sisters and my younger sis has 3 girls. This could be a lineage of breast cancer. As my Mom revealed this important detail of family history to her new oncologist, my Dad and I stared back in disbelief. He had never heard of it either. Apparently in Nudgemama's dying months, as old and feeble as she was, she never let anyone near her and never saw any doctors. When my Mother finally saw her body, her breast was apparently "eaten away by cancer." Thanks Mom, for the breaking news. My sisters and I have been filling out our medical histories for years checking "No" under breast cancer in the family. Oh la la...

So now, I am being tested for the BRACA gene. It is a specific genetic mutation that indicates a tendency towards an inherited breast cancer in the female lineage of the family. It sharply raises the percentage of recurrence and also tends to point towards ovarian cancer as well. Great. Now I have a grandmother who died of breast cancer, a mother who has breast cancer and then there's me. The chances are slight that I carry this gene...but I am the fulcrum. If I test positive, then my sisters need to be tested. If my younger sis tests positive, then her daughters will need to be tested when they turn 18. All signs point to negative for me...my cancer being an anomaly and the cancer of my Mom and Nudgemama being a result of old age. I find out in 2-3 weeks. Just another piece of shit to heap on the pile...

P.S. Chemo #3 went off without a hitch on Tuesday and now I am just very, very tired so far...I have an Echo tomorrow to make sure that my heart is working:) and then we see my superstar surgeon, Dr Smith, for my Mom's appt.